Why Don't I feel Happy Now That I'm Single?

I cringe even writing that title.  I know what Christians thinks of that question.  I guess that's why I'm blogging, though.  So many people, like me, are trying to process their real feelings even when others don't think we should feel what we are feeling. Single people understand this struggle with contentment. It's usually the married people who have the answers about what I should be thinking and feeling in my singleness. People have good intentions. But you just can't understand a situation fully unless you are living it. The same married people who have the answers about contentment in singleness are the ones who struggle when their spouse is away on business or make comments about how they'd never want to be single again. I'll admit it.  I was happy when I was married (for the first many years), and I'm not very happy now that I'm single.  Are those two things correlated?  All of the pain I've experienced over the last 10 years stems from being hurt in romantic relationships.  The consequences I've lived in due to those hurtful relationships have made my life hard.  Singleness has so many tough components to it that I'm sure I'll talk about in the future.  I'm strong enough in my faith to know that I CAN be "happy" as a single person.  But as I talk to other single friends, who are really trying daily to have a positive perspective, they struggle in this area too.  We read the scripture in Genesis that says that it's not good for man to be alone, so God created a partner for him.  If it's "not good" for man to be alone, why are singles critiqued for struggling with being alone?  Singles are told that "God is your husband". But if that was THE answer to the dilemma of singleness, then why did God create Eve? I'm not suggesting that God can't be everything we need. I'm just saying that I don't think it's that easy.  Sometimes, getting a simple answer to a complex struggle isn't very helpful.  Singleness is hard and creates circumstances that married people don't face. I have friends who come home to an empty house every day. I have friends who hardly ever receive physical touch. I have friends who struggle with sitting alone in church every Sunday. I have friends who live in houses with broken things because they don't know how to fix them. I've faced most of those things so I know how hard they are.  I want to acknowledge the struggle, but also make it clear that I am not sitting around feeling sorry for myself (most of the time I don't :)) or settling for an unhealthy relationship because I can't be alone. When I woke up today, the loneliness of singleness was present.  I talked to God and spent time thanking him for the blessings in my life. Psalm 144:15 says "Happy (blessed, joyful) are the people whose God is the Lord". I believe what the scripture says. He is my Lord. So I'm left asking God what needs to change in me to get to this place.

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